A handful of dreams Read online

  ' Yes. He's very proud of you.' ' What did you think of them? Did you see the one I'm doing of you?' Cilia hesitated and her face must have betrayed her, for Theo laughed. You didn't like it, eh?' ' I look so young,' she complained. ' You are so young.' ' I'm over twenty!' He laughed again. ' Only just. You've got a long way to go yet. That reminds meFiona told me you often went out dancing of an evening with some man.' ' Well, I wouldn't go with some girl, would I?' Cilia snapped. He chuckled and then his voice became different, cold, accusing so she felt her body stiffen as she prepared herself for the row she knew was coming. ' Fiona told me you were going out with Colin Paine.' ' And why shouldn't I?' ' Because he's a real womaniser, a no-good man. Who introduced you?' He snapped his fingers so loudly she jumped. ' I bet it was your brother-inlaw.' ' And why not? He's an old friend of theirs.' ' A likely story!' Theo sneered. ' They know that when you're married, you can do what you like with Aunt Lil's money, so they produced Colin. I'm right, aren't I?' Cilia began to speak and then closed her mouth. She stared at him, trying to find words that would do, but all the time she could not forget what had happened after one of Colin's visits. Joanna had teased her, saying Colin had fought off more 92

  predatory females than any man save Theo. Paul had put his arm round Cilia's shoulders and said it was a pity, because marriage had its advantages. Cilia had gone to her bedroom, but found she had left something in the large lounge. As she hurried back to get it she could hear Joanna and Paul talking, and then Paul had said, his voice harsh with anger:' It's got to work. It's our only chance.' ' It'll work,' Joanna had said comfortingly, and Cilia had gone back to her bedroom, wondering what they had been talking about, not wanting them to think she was eavesdropping. Theo's suggestion now made her look on those words with a different view. Could Theo be right and Joanna and Paul be trying to get her married so that they could get Joanna's share of Aunt Lil's. money without any more trouble? But her loyalty to Paul was stronger than Theo's suggestion. 'You are the end!' she said angrily. 'You're always accusing poor Paulfirst of trying to murder me and now to marry me off. There's no question of that. Colin is a friend of mine, but that's all. You can't stop me having friends.' ' Can't I ?' Theo's voice was threatening. ' You'd be surprised. I don't like that man, nor does Peter Kent.' ' He knows Colin?' ' I'll say. Now looktell me more about Anthony. His mother just walked in, did she? How did you like her?' Cilia felt the stiffness leave her body, for his voice had changed, losing the harsh threatening, note she 93 ^ hated. . ' She came by taxi, and Anthony just flung himself in her arms. His father isn't well and is in hospital. She found out you were in South America and decided slie'd better come out and fetch the boy as she wasn't sure who was looking after him here. I liked her very much . . .' Cilia hesitated, but decided she wouldn't tell him what Anthony's mother had said to herthat marriage was a difficult partnership; when you had a child and husband your loyalties' were torn apart. ' You mustn't let either child or husband feel neglected,' she had said. ' My husband, Mike, is so crazy about seeing the world, but now it'll be Anthony's turn, as we're getting a house in Cornwall because Mike must go slowly for a few years. It isn't easy to do the right thing. Marriage isn't always easy.' ' Her husband is ill and they're buying a house in Cornwall,' she told Theo. ' The kid'll enjoy that.' ' Yes. She's promised him a horse and two dogs,' Cilia laughed. ' You must have missed him?' There was that streak of tenderness in Theo's voice that she sometimes heard, and that always puzzled her, for it was so unlike his usual self. ' I did,' she said, and remembered the awful emptiness in her life when she had seen Anthony and his mother go in the plane and out of her life. ' Luckily, Joanna has changed a lot. We're much better friends than we've ever been.' ' That's good,' Theo said, then spoilt it all by saying: ' I wonder why.' As usual he was being unfair to Joanna and Paul. 94 I ' I was supposed to be having lunch with Colin ; today,' Cilia said angrily, ' and I parked my car in ; townand now you've brought me out here.' I ' Is that so?' Theo looked annoyed. ' Why the II hell didn't you tell me?' ' You gave me no chance . . .' Cilia began, but he was paying no attention, but leaning forward to speak to the chauffeur, who slowed up the car and turned it at the first opening. There was a long silence as the car sped along the road. Cilia's anger grew more and more and suddenly boiled over. ' You owe me an apology,' she said. ' Treating me like that! What must Fiona have thought? It'll be all over the island!' Theo chuckled. ' I bet it is already. What does it matter?' ' I don't mind that, but . . .' ' I owe you an apology?' he said with a smile. * I agree! I do apologise for thinking, even for one moment, that you would let me down. I apologise. Am I forgiven?' Cilia stared at him. He had actually apologisedl ' Of course,' she gasped. 95

  CHAPTER X

  Colin was pacing up and down the crowded pavement when they reached the restaurant. Theo had not spoken a word since he had apologised and Cilia had sat rigidly, gazing blindly out of the car window. When she saw Colin she waited, tense, for Theo to make some comment, but oddly enough he said nothing of the sort. The car stopped. The chauffeur slid out and opened the door. A little uncertain. Cilia looked at Theo. He looked at her, his face blank. ' No doubt I'll see you some time,' he said sarcastically. ' I hope you enjoy your lunch,' he added as she got out of the car and hurried to join Colin. Cilia did not enjoy her lunch very much because, for the first time since she had met Colin, he was cross.' Where on earth have you been? I thought you were ill or something, then I saw your car parked. What were you doing with that man?' She told him, trying, she found, to defend Theo. ' Of course he was worried about his nephew . . .' she finished. ' That's absurd,' Colin complained. ' He must have known you were to be trusted to look after the boy. He was with Fiona?' ' Yes. She happened to be at the airport when he arrived and she asked for a lift into town.' Colin smiled. ' A likely story! Now she'll have to get someone to give her a lift back to the airport so she can pick 96 up her car. I'm surprised Theo Randall would fall for that. You like the man?' he asked abruptly. Fortunately the waiter had come with the two huge menus for them to study, so Cilia ignored the question. Of course she didn't like Theo, she told herself. He had no manners at all, he just behaved as he wanted to regardless of how he hurt others. Later, as Colin walked with her to her parked car, he asked another abrupt question. * Are you scared of Theo Randall? Why do you put up with such behaviour?' ' Because . . .' Cilia began, but stopped in time, for she had nearly said,' Because Theo is a trustee, and I don't want to annoy him because he might be difficult about letting me have more money so that I can give it to Joanna.' She felt hot all over, for it had been a narrow escape as Joanna wanted no one to know that Theo was a trustee. A few days later Colin took her to a special cocktail party at the house of one of the top diplomats. She wondered if Theo would be thereif he would make a scene because she was going with Colin. Well, she told herself, she was not going to allow Theo to run her life. It was bad enough as it was, thanks to well-meaning Aunt Lil. Joanna had persuaded her to buy a new dress, and when Colin saw it, he whistled softly. He had laughed and turned to Joanna. " Isn't Cilia delicious, delectable and delightful?' he asked. Joanna laughed. 'You should know,' she said. Outside in the dark night he helped her into his car and gently took her chin in his hand, bent down and kissed hera gentle kiss. ' Know something?' he said with a sigh as he slid 97

  in by her side. ' I have a horrible feeling I'm falling in love with you.' He made it sound so tragic that Cilia had to laugh. ' That sounds like an insult,' she teased. He started the car. 'It wasn't meant as one. The trouble is I'm a loner. I don't want to get married,' he said almost violently. Cilia laughed. ' That makes two of us.' ' Don't you want to get married?' Driving down the track, the brilliant lights destroying the darkness and making the trees look like crazy dancers with their pointing branches, Colin asked, 'I thought all girls want to get married?' ' This girl doesn't,' Cilia said, and then realised it was not the truth. For she did want to marry, but it would have to be the right man. And how did you find that out? It was a pleasant party
with no accusing eyes or sarcastic remarks. Her new dress of cream silk with beautifully embroidered smocking on the high waistline was admired by many. Cilia found herself dancing with strangers. She kept herself wary, looking round in case Theo was there. If he was, how would he behave? she wondered. Grab her and take her outside to threaten to do something drastic to prevent her from being friends with Colin? Theo had said he could do just that if he wanted toyet what could he do, after all? She had a perfect right to have Colin for a friend, and she liked him. The only unpleasant moment of the evening was when she was dancing with Colin and the humid heat made her cheeks run with water, so she hurried to the powder room. She saw to her dis98 may that Fiona was there, screwing up her face as she adjusted her false eyelashes. She saw Cilia's reflection in the mirror, so she didn't look round but merely spoke. ' I see you're after Colin now. Good luck. You'll need it, because he's hard to get,' Fiona laughed, her face scornful. ' Anyhow, I'm glad you gave up Theo. .You'd only get hurt.' Cilia felt the rush of anger that Fiona always aroused. ' I haven't given Theo upI don't want . . .' she was saying as the door opened and several guests joined them. Cilia walked to the other mirror in the room and hastily wiped her face. If Fiona was here, then must Theo be here, too? she wondered. Should she ask Fiona? There was no chance even had she decided to do so, for the room was getting crowded; everyone was feeling the heat. As Colin drove her home. Cilia asked him if he knew Fiona. He laughed. ' Who doesn't? Her family have lived on the island for many years. She's got her eye on Theo Randall, you know.' ' I do know. She's always warning me not to try to get him,' Cilia said. ' And are you trying?' Colin asked, a sharp note in his voice. ' Of course not,' Cilia laughed. ' We fight every time we meet.' ' I'm glad to hear it, because most girls couldn't honestly say that. They're after his charm and his money. He's so wealthy it stinks,' Colin said bitterly. ' Not that it's his fault. He inherited most of his money.' 99

  ' I hate money,' Cilia exclaimed suddenly. ' It causes so much misery and . . .' ' And happiness! Depends how you use it.' ' You know about . . . ?' Cilia said slowly, wondering if he did know, for they had never discussed it. ' You mean about your aunt's will? I guess everyone does. Poor Joanna went nearly mad with disappointment. She was counting on getting her half . . .' ' She willone day. Do you think I ... that it was my fault?' Colin jammed on the brake so suddenly that she was nearly flung forward. He drove off the road on to the grass verge, stopped the engine, turned to her and took her in his arms. ' Of course not, you little idiot,' he said tenderly. ' You're not that type of person. No one believes it since they've met you.' How different he was from Theo, Cilia was thinking. Colin held her gently, his arms cradling her, whereas Theo's fingers would be painfully digging into her arm. ' What do you plan to do? I suppose it isn't so much as what can you plan to do? I gathered there were some ridiculous conditions?' ' There are. I've got . . .' She stopped just in time from saying two trustees. ' A trustee in England, and he ... well, he . . .' ' Calls the tune?' ' Yes. It's infuriating,' she sighed. ' It must be. What if you marry?' ' I get the money,' she told him. 'All of it?' 100

  She laughed. ' Half of it, because I'll give Joanna her half.' ' I wonder if she'd do the same,' Colin said slowly. He kissed her lightly. ' I doubt it. You're a very different person from your sister.' Gently he let go of her, pushing her along the seat. ' We'd better get going or I may say something I'll regret.' ' What could that be?' she laughed as he started the car. ' You sound scared.' ' I amof you/ he told her. ' I'm anti-marriage, you see. I like to be free to roam. Tell me,' he laughed as he spoke, ' do you dig me?' ' I'll dig a hole for you if you don't drive me home. I'm tired,' Cilia said, relieved that they were now joking. She was rather disturbed by what he had said. Marriage was a serious thing. She liked Colin, but was liking enough? Next day at lunch Joanna said; ' The grapevine, says Theo is back.' ' He's been back quite a few days,' Cilia told her, helping herself to a second lot of the delicious crab salad. ' And he's never been to see you? A fine sort of trustee,' Joanna said with a laugh. Joanna was in one of her good moods, so Cilia felt relaxed and was able to talk. ' We had quite a scene in town . . .' she began, and told Joanna about Theo's anger, his almost forcing her down the street to his car, accusing her of neglecting Anthony, and then his anger because sheaccording to Fionawas going out with Colin. Talking so easily made Cilia suddenly worried. Had she said too much or had she stopped in time? She didn't want Joanna to know of the 101 horrible things Theo had said about her and Paul that they were trying to get Cilia married so that Joanna could get her half of the money! Cilia was relieved when Joanna laughed. ' I can't understand Theo these days. In the past he often used to drop in and have a drink and chat with me.' She laughed. ' When Paul was at work, of course, because those two just don't get on. Theo is a difficult person.' ' You're telling me,' Cilia agreed. ' At times he's absolutely intolerable 1' ' Is he as bad as that?' Joanna asked with a smile. Cilia had to laugh. ' Even worse,' she said. That's the understatement of the year.' ' Surely as you're his ward, he ought to keep an eye on you?' said Joanna. ' Oh, he does that all right, but he only gets in touch with me when he wants me to do something for him. And heyes, hehad the nerve to call me an egoist.' ' An egoist?' Joanna was puzzled. ' Now what made him say that?' Once again Cilia realised she was going too close to things it was better not to talk about as no one lately had suggested she was ' that bad sister who had deliberately cheated Joanna ', so it was best to avoid it and Cilia changed the subject. ' Colin is taking me to a wedding on Sunday,' she said. ' One of the local lads that used to work for him, he said.' ' They can be very colourful, but surely rather a bore when you don't know the bride or groom?' ' Colin said ...' Cilia began, but stopped in time and altered the sentence. ' It would be a sort of 102

  ... well, something local and therefore interesting. He says it nearly bankrupts the bridegroom, because he has to put on such an expensive show.' Cilia wondered what Joanna would say if she was told the exact words Colin had used: 'It might make it easier for me if I saw how happy the couple was. Marriage scares me still, Cilia, yet whenever I'm with you . . .' and he had kissed her fingers in turn, halt joking yet with a seriousness that impressed her. [ She and Colin drove along the coast to Victoria I. where the town shone in the sunlight and the local L men were walking round the market, like peacocks ', in their bright gaudy shirts. Some had Chinese | features, other Indian, even more were a strange i mixture of various nationalities. The local girls ^sauntered by, their heads held high, their hips ? swinging as they glanced flirtatiously at the men. |, ' The poor bridegroom pays for the wedding andI builds a house too,' Colin was saying. ' It takes | him years to save up for it.' I The wedding was quite a festival, with crowds of I'well-dressed guests and the bride and groom look-It ing slightly dazed as if unable to believe what was |.happening. There was much gaiety, for it was a|;wedding of gay colours with three drums being S-beaten while the couples danced with their backs to |,orie another as they swayed, jumped, clapped hands |and sang. The food was excellent, the drinks genserous. Cilia and Colin danced and laughed and gshe was enjoying herself until, as the music paused, |$a -familiar voice made her stiffen with dismay.|| 'Look who's here! Cilia being introduced to E ^ Seychelles' habits.' Cilia swung round, her hand in, Colin's. She felt Colin's fingers tighten round hers. Was he as tense as she was, or was it to encourage her to stand up to this impossible man? Theo was standing, glass in hand, an amused smile on his face, behind them. By his side was Fiona. ' Glad I met you,' Theo went on, his voice amused. ' Save me phoning you tomorrow, though I must say I didn't expect to see you here.' Cilia's mouth was dry and a strange trembling seemed to be filling her. Was Theo going to be rude to her? Was he going to order his ward not to go out with Colin? Was he going to make a scene with all these people round them? ' What do you want to tell me?' she asked stiffly. " Nothing serious.' Theo waved his glass almost patronisinglyat least that was the uncomfortable impression she got. ' I heard from Anthony. He seems worried about you, Cilia.' She
was so surprised it took her a moment before she could speak. 'Worriedabout me? But why?' ' Because you can't swim. He's afraid that one day when you're looking for those little crabs you're apparently crazy about, you may slip on the rocks and be swept out in the current and he won't be there to save you.' Fiona's laugh was shrill and full of contempt. 'Don't tell me it's true! A girl your age who can't swim?' ' And what's wrong with that?' Colin asked, his voice aggressive. 104